Gobble, Gobble

Happy Thanksgiving BrickGals & BrickGuys!  Hope all is swell and that everyone is getting ready for some good grub and games! 

BrickGal Meg in Sayulita

I’ve been a bit MIA for the past week (and I won’t return to regular postings until our next Hump Day Treat) as I’ve been taking a much needed vacation out of the hood.  This BrickGal took over Riviera Nayarit, Mexico last weekend and New York City earlier this week, is kicking back in Wilmington, Delaware today, then heading to Western Massachusetts on Friday for a college bestie’s wedding and finally on to Boston early next week.  Whirlwind, and for that I’m thankful.

I’ve made it a habit to not talk about myself in BrickGals, except of course the occasional jab at an ex-bf, but, today, in the spirit of Thanksgiving, I am going to include some of my family’s excentric personalities (I won’t tell you which ones they are) in a recap of the top 10 types of people who you would not (or would depending on how much entertainment you are trying to get after) want to invite to your Thanksgiving feast.  So let’s get this party started…

10.  Anyone over the height of 6’5 (which is still kind of pushing it).  Unless, that is, you’ve got two and seat them directly across from each other so you can secretly watch them figit throughout the whole meal while trying to avoid bumping each others’ knees… no homo.

9. A random seven-year old kid who only got the invite cause his mom is boinking some dude already invited.  Why would anyone want to subject this young child to the dysfunction that is about to ensue.  More importantly, what the hell is this f***** gonna contribute to the convo?

8. An Indian (feather not dot).  You know those guys are still pissed about Plymouth Rock.  One wrong glance and you could catch yourself without a scalp.

7. Taylor Swift.  That chick is so damn annoying that even her crimpy hair is starting to get to me.  No one wants any long blond locks in the mashed potatoes.

6. Overbearing Sister.  Jesus, we get that you are basically God’s version of Mary that he has specifically bestowed upon on our family.  I wouldn’t think that we are related except come to find out she was awarded a glorified drinking queen trophy by the Wine Club at her Business School.  DNA, check.

5. An Ex You Don’t Want to Have Futher Relations With.  Inevitably after boozing all day, the horny gene is going to take over and more than likely you’re going to take the first piece you get.  There’s a reason you broke up. Don’t do it.

4. A Bulimic.  You know that chick is going to be in the bathroom when you most need it. Move it lady, put up or shut up.

Oh wait... that's not Tebow tebowing?

3. Tim Tebow.  If that bitch gets down on one knee to thank God after every dish brought to the table, shit’s gonna get cold.  No bueno.

2. PETA. Anyone know how to hunt a tofurkey? No? Oh ok thanks.

1. Patty Stanger.  This Millionaire Matchmaker may bestow a two drink maximum on her dates but f*** if you’re normal that shit ain’t gonna fly at this luau.

And the number 1 person you want to invite: A Drunk.  You will always have an excuse for refilling your glass when you tell the drink nazis that “XX has had more than me!”

Did I miss anyone?  Who else shouldn’t you invite to the soiree? 

Happy Thanksgiving Fools. Love ya.

It’sssss Monday

Hola Chicas & Chicos!  It’ssssss Monday so we’re obs all looking for a reason to drink.  Even better reason than it’s Monday is that for ladies participating in the Monday Night Football Halftime Speed Dating at Tobacco Road drinks are on the house.  So gather your group of compadres and head to Tobacco Road to watch the Green Bay Packers take on the Minnesota Vikings.  Big screen on the patio provides the perfect telle set to catch the foozball in this fantastic weather we’re gettin right now.  Game starts at 8:30 pm.  Ladies and gents looking to play must RVSP by 6 pm today to brickgals@gmail.com to reserve your spot.

99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall

After such a beautiful day outside at the Brickell Lunch Break Music Series (I mean, when else can you take a 2.5 hr lunch break), I’m gonna start out this post a little darker than usual because, helloooo, life isn’t always great (ask good old Joe Paterno and, especially, this guy ↓).

 

To be honest though, most things hit the dust before ever reaching 100.  For instance, a fly lives just one day; and, my relationships, don’t even get me started, four drinks max.  One place that fights the odds of never-ending despair and embarrassment, Tobacco Road.

Tomorrow T Rd turns another year, 99 to be exact.  Unlike my birthday party, which consisted of a whole weekend (okkkk, maybe week) of partying, they are pulling out all the stops for one epic night of debauchery.

– Friday Happy Hour starts at 6 pm with 99 cent drinks until 7:39 (**bonussss, extra minute from now on)!

– Food trucks will be packing the parking lot, so hit up Monkey Shuttle for a ride.  

– Some kick ass music will pleasuring our ears, including MAYDAY, Garcia, The Regs, Araka, Justincredible, Sounduo, The Big City Blues Band, and more.

We all love a man in uniform (and OK it’s Veteran’s Day), so all Veterans, Police and Firefighters get in FREE with ID.  All you other scrubs are gonna have to fork over $10 at the door.

I was SUPER pissed last year when I was out of town for the 98th Anniversary so you better bet your bottom dollar I’ll be there. Tweet me!

This Ain’t Your Regular Duck, Duck, Goose

When you think of circles, what comes to mind?  Cheerios, check.  The Olympics, well, maybe if Bruce Jenner still participated.  The many zeros you want after your husband’s (or wife’s) paycheck (except if your Kris Humphries… and an idiot that signs a prenup), le duh.  And of course, the age old game of Duck, Duck, Goose (with these long legs, I’ve always been a champion).  What may not conjure up in your mind (yet) is Miami Circle.

Recently made into one of Brickell’s newest parks, located on the north side of the Viceroy/Icon, Miami Circle is thought to be the only known evidence of a prehistoric permanent structure cut into the bedrock in the good old US of A.  According to Wikipedia (aka historic fact), it is a perfect circle structure measuring 38 feet of 600 postmolds that contain 24 holes or basins cut into the limestone bedrock, believed to have been built by the Tequesta Indians.

You’re probably thinking, “What the F are you talking about, BrickGal?” I mean, that is, of course, if any of you have seen my history pub quiz skills (admittedly not the best… but damn I dominate those celebrity and American Idol questions).

Ok, check it, the aforementioned Miami Circle is playing host to the first Brickell Lunch Break Music Series this Thursday from 11:30 am – 2:30 pm.  Miami Food Trucks’ Fish Box, Dim Ssäm à gogo, Latin Burger and Sugar Yummy Mamma will be serving up some amazeballs food (or you can bring your lunch… loser).  Francis Ford Coppola Winery will be on tap to provide delish and FREE wine tastings (hey, if the boss can have a glass of wine at lunch, it’s only right to follow in his/her ways), and the event will feature music by the Cezar Santana Brazilian Jazz Trio.  Don’t want to walk over to the park (or you’re not really smart enough to figure out the Metromover)?  Hit up my girl April (april@24-group.com) so she can have the Monkey Shuttle come pick your ass up!

There are more events slated for the space within the coming months, but who knows when another Brickell Lunch Break Music Series will pop up.

Be There or Be Square (pun intended)!

 

(Don’t) Quit Monkeying Around

Last night, I couldn’t believe my eyes.  (And no, it wasn’t because I was multiple bottles of wine in.)  While riding passenger (helloooo, this chick ain’t gettin no DUI) home from dinner up in Normandy Isle (uh, yea… wayyyy out of my comfort zone), I happened across the new Brickell Monkey Shuttle.  It really does exist!  I’ve seen the shuttle on the Beach, but have never been fortunate enough to embark on its legendary journey.  After being clued in to it last month, I had almost forgotten about the new Brickell one.  Hallelujah, alas, it is alive.

Uh, yea I've got a monkey on my face

If you don’t know about the Monkey Shuttle, let me break it down for you.  Monkey Shuttle provides rides in a large golf cart-like machine for FREE!  All you need to do is jump on board when you see the monkey shuttle, or call in advance (forget those 90’s cabs that never show up… especially when it’s raining).  You and up to 4 of your compadres can jump into the 6 passenger 100% eco-friendly cart and ride off to your favorite hood watering hole!

BrickGals Channels Ladies 80s

If you were my most recent ex-boyfriend, you’d say that I spend too much time at Fado Irish Pub.  Pssshh.  If you’re not a big loser (and #EPICFAIL), you’d say I have fantastic taste picking such a great bar to frequent my social gatherings.

Lucky for BrickGals, after months of pleading with the powers that be, Fado has finally decided to jump aboard Brickell’s Wednesday Ladies Night train.  Starting tomorrow night, and recurring the first Wednesday of the month hereinafter, Fado will host Ladies 80s starting at 9 pm.  The later start gives you plenty of time to grub and sauce up at Perricones prior, but, if not, Fado will be extending Happy Hour pricing on all their Happy Hour drink & food menus.

Bushmills Irish Whiskey (aka the perfect Paleo solution to healthy drinking) is sponsoring this week, so get there early for some free Bushmills Whiskey Cocktails.  Also get excited for the debut of their new official Ladies Night t-shirts (once again, arrive early to reap the benefits)!  Last but not least, Fado will be giving every lady coming in a raffle ticket for a chance to win great prizes from the ladies’ shops at Mary Brickell Village, and Resident “DJ Hans” will start spinning 80s music starting around 10pm.

** BrickGuys, take note, if you’re not a hermit/socially awkward/lame ass like my ex, come out to Fado tomorrow night to meet some BrickGals.  Why, you ask? Well, perhaps, cause girls just wanna have fun…. 😉